One Year

One year ago today, a boy came to my door with roses. We made popcorn and watched Up. :) It was that day with much nervousness (at least on my part) that we decided to start publicly pursuing a relationship. Since that day, my life has been full of learning experiences and growth, hard times, good times, scary times, sweet times and much laughter. Thank you sweetie for a whole year of being there for me, praying with me, putting up with me, taking and giving advice. Thank you for pursuing God with your whole heart, and for being the calm in my storms. For being completely silly and making me laugh. This has been a great and profitable time. :) Happy Anniversary. 

whirlwind.

Friends you *thought* you knew suddenly go completely insane...

Other friends move away either to get married or to go to college...

Things you thought for sure were going to happen are no longer to be; and dear people are hurt because of it...

You become far too impatient with people...

Almost everyone is changing around you and you begin to doubt where your life is taking you...

And for some reason it's incredibly hard to do a simple thing like open up your Bible and read a chapter in the morning.

Sometimes you just want a pity party. Then you feel guilty because you realize that you really don't have it that bad. But you're tired and just want a break already. Or at least some chocolate.

why I don't do haunted houses etc.

disclaimer: I'm writing this from a christian perspective and don't mean to tell people what to do, that's their choice.

I feel as though people think I'm a prude. But I can't help what goes on in my spirit when things like this come up. I claim to be a Christian and I feel haunted houses and most of what comes with halloween is based on death, evil, and the categorizing of said things as entertaining. This is a contradiction I can't resolve.

the same goes for movies with this content. Any kind of zombie, bloody, slasher/survivor movie or video game makes me ill. I don't simply mean that it's not my thing. I mean that it disturbs me. It disturbs me that someone could put these things in their mind and claim to be a Christian. What do you honestly have to do to your mind before it just doesn't recognize horror violence and gore as disturbing? I don't think you need to "try it out" to find out if it's not good. Go to a christian review website like pluggedin.com and be warned there.  

Thanks that's all.

Global warming nazis.

So this disgusting video came to my attention today. I thought I would post it along with an outrageous comment by someone in support of it and my reply to get it out of my system...so read if you want.

(I can't bring myself to watch the blowing up part [it was described to me] so I don't know what it's like exactly--just be warned it's on there.)

Fox Coverage of 10:10 Global Warming Shock Video

Comment from a viewer:

             "So I'm guessing none of these people has ever gone to see an overly violent comedy or action film at the theaters huh? Gimme a break! I'm so outraged...whatever!

maybe they should have shown those kids melting from record high temperatures, or dying of thirst because of extended droughts...hmmm, would that be outrageous?

yeah - it was little over the top, but I bet most of those outraged people see more violence than this in the movies every week."

My reply:

            "Ok, I just had to reply, sorry. The way I see it is 1) Depicting kids "melting from record high temperatures" or "dying of thirst because of extended droughts" is very different from depicting someone deliberately BLOWING PEOPLE UP BECAUSE they don't agree to bow to your agenda. Very different. Nazis, anyone? Does this video mean they were serious about carrying that out? No, [not necessarily :P ] but this is in extremely poor taste.

2) You say, "I'm guessing none of these people have ever gone to see an overly violent comedy or action film at the theaters?" And there I can agree with you in a sense, [that it would be hypocritical of said people]... I for one hate excessive violence in movies, it is in my personal opinion, disgusting, desensitizing and at the very least extremely unnecessary; can't understand why some people think it is fine.

I don't write this to taunt you-just bringing some things up. Thank you for reading."

I hate bad logic.

Thoughts.

Maybe I'm weird, maybe it's just me.

Maybe I easily warm up to genuinely friendly people.

Maybe sometimes I don't notice right away if they are going to be the unpopular ones. 

Maybe there's something that went on in the past that I don't know about between them and someone else, I can understand that.

Maybe I just care about them and want them to know the truth. 

Maybe the world would be a better place and Christians wouldn't have such a bad name if we actually tried to reach out to people. 

Even if they're unpopular. 

Even if we dislike them.

Unfortunately if ever I point a finger I have four pointing back at myself. It's easy to see your sins when you notice them somewhere else besides in yourself.

Maybe if we could all just learn that our dislike of someone isn't nearly as important as their future. Sometimes it's really hard, but that doesn't really make it any less necessary.

Middle of the Road

I like lots of things in-between.

Maybe this is because I'm indecisive, and I want to enjoy everything. For instance, I like the weather to be hovering somewhere between 65-75 degrees. I don't mind hot, not so much. But sometimes you just want hoodie weather. And I quickly get tired of our half-a-year Ohio winters. Middle ground weather is good. (If only it would last for more than 2 months...)

I also like in-between education. When I (hopefully) have children I know I'll be more of a middle-ground homeschooler. Not the let's-sit-at-a-desk-in-one-room rigid type nor the hey-you're-a-smart-kid-you-can-study-whatever-you-want "unschooler," (yes that's a legit term) but somewhere in between. Eclectic is the word...

Sometimes though part of me is prone to extremes. Ever have trouble saying no? I tend to get myself into a lot of things and overestimate my ability to "do it all." (As I said before, I want to enjoy everything.)

Another extreme is worry. Give me something to worry about and I'm all over it; at least when it concerns something very close or important to me. Something I've dreamed about for years may not be happening, someone I care about may be in danger. Someone is not acting the way they are supposed to! Someone who needed me to do something is put out because I said no to doing it, someone I need to get along with might be upset with me for something I said just because I said it at the wrong time in maybe the wrong tone of voice!! AHH!! You get the picture.

I've noticed many things with God require this kind of balance too. Somewhere between paranoia and a lethargic attitude is a line called Trust. Somewhere between laziness and frantic scrambling is a place of satisfying service. And somewhere between legalism (following rules simply to "earn" favor with God and the community) and licentiousness (that thought where you can do whatever feels good because, hey, I have freedom in Christ, right?) is this way of life called Grace. It's in-between; It's middle of the road. It's hard to find sometimes. But it's the best.

My ancient computer finally let me set up a blog

After some mild frustration, rebooting twice, trying the *other* ancient computer in the house, giving up on firefox, figuring things out, and an hour or two, I (think) I have successfully created a blog. (Needless to say technology and I have never been close friends-actually it runs screaming when it sees me coming. It then crouches in a corner and refuses to do what I tell it. It's a pretty funny picture sometimes.) Moving on.


This is a whim, a beginning, an outlet for thoughts, questions, fears, ideas and opinions that roam around in my head that I would like to just...get out in the open. (And it seems more permanent and professional than a facebook note, somehow.) It certainly won't be updated daily or weekly, but randomly when the mood takes me.



Read if you feel so inclined. :)